We asked ChatGPT for the best all-time Irish rugby XV and the results are… interesting

December 25, 2024

AI knows everything – that’s if recent claims are to be believed – so assembling the greatest all-time Irish rugby should be a doddle for it.

Most of the team picks itself but when it comes to the trickier debates, AI is not compromised by the bias that infiltrates human opinions.

We asked ChatGPT in its infinite wisdom to assemble the greatest XV to don the green jersey. The results are intriguing to say the least…

Brian O’Driscoll of Ireland lifts the trophy after Ireland won the Grand Slam during the RBS 6 Nations Championship match between Wales and Ireland at the Millennium Stadium on March 21, 2009 in Cardiff, Wales. Pic: Stu Forster/Getty Images

Front-row

While few can dispute the presence of former World Player of the Year Keith Wood at hooker, ChatGPT is thinking in a different dimension in terms of his fellow front-rowers.

Multiple Grand Slam-winning Test centurion Cian Healy for loosehead? Nah! Aul DJ Church is pipped to the post by Jack Kyle – the legendary out-half who AI notes ‘was known for his exceptional skills, vision, and playmaking ability’. You know, skills that are typically best suited to loosehead prop… (insert Pinocchio emoji here).

Packing down on the opposite side is (renowned scrummager?) Willie John McBride. The five-times Lions tourist was an exceptional lock – yes, a lock – so his inclusion here ahead of John Hayes and Tadhg Furlong is right to raise a few eyebrows.

Willie John McBride. Pic: Allsport UK/Allsport via Getty Images

Second-row

In the second-row we have everyone’s pick Paul O’Connell. A titan of Irish rugby, his inclusion is completely logical.

Would it be his partner-in-crime Donncha O’Callaghan? Or perhaps a Malcom O’Kelly? Willie John McBride has already been assigned elsewhere…

ChatGPT continues to mix things up, with legendary flanker Fergus Slattery inexplicably shifted in at tighthead lock.

Fergus Slattery. Pic: Allsport UK/Allsport via Getty Images

Back-row

Sean O’Brien – blighted by injuries but a machine on the field – comes in at blindside flanker. His inclusion won’t irk many.

Ireland have been and continue to be blessed with brilliant back-rowers. So it is only right – in the robotic eyes of ChatGPT at least – that Brian O’Driscoll is selected at openside flanker.

Anthony Foley is preferred to Jamie Heaslip at No8 – a more logical selection even if Heaslip has every right to feel overlooked here.

Pic: Phil Walter/Getty Images

Half-backs

Unless you’re a Munster fan (corrupted by bias, how dare you be) – it is hard to dispute ChatGPT on this one.

Johnny Sexton gets the nod ahead of old rival Ronan O’Gara, a fair selection considering he surpassed the Corkman’s points record at the 2023 World Cup. At scrum-half, Conor Murray is chosen ahead of fellow legend Peter Stringer.

2023 Rugby World Cup Pool B, Stade de Bordeaux, Bordeaux, France 9/9/2023 Ireland vs Romania Ireland Jonathan Sexton celebrates with Conor Murray after scoring. Pic: INPHO/Laszlo Geczo

Centre

It can only be one combination. Gordon D’Arcy? Check. Brian O’Driscoll? Oh. Well he is at openside flanker after all! Duh!

Tommy Bowe – one of our greatest ever wings – fills the O’Driscoll-shaped hole in midfield.

Brian O’Driscoll, left, and Gordon D’Arcy, Ireland, during the game. Guinness Series International, Ireland v Samoa, Aviva Stadium, Lansdowne Road, Dublin. Pic: Barry Cregg / SPORTSFILE

Back three

Brian O’Driscoll? Hello again. Had we not met earli… doesn’t matter. ChatGPT reckons O’Driscoll is so good that he deserves two places in this XV. Openside flanker and left wing, sure where else would they have put him?

Listen, we love BOD as much as the next guy/gal but you are asking a bit much of him don’t you think!?

There is a bit of normality elsewhere in the back three, with the uber-prolific Denis Hickie togging out on the opposite wing and Rob Kearney unsurprisingly at fullback.